Struggling

Why are morning such a time of rejuvenation! Even though I don't really look forward to the getting up portion with my crazy flat hair and lovely clean breath...I love that everything is new! Grace and mercy seem to just fall over me as I begin to think, pray and plan for another day. Karoline and Jared are usually both dead to the world when I am awake so it's quite peaceful around the Billups' casa. BUT...the Lord has heard my cry over not being able to love my baby before school...SO...He has been waking her up in just enough time for me to be able to kiss, rock and dote on her for the last week! I love it!!! Jared is not really a big fan but ya know he will survive..hehe!

On another note on the same page...
I am really struggling with the fact that I am a full time teacher, mother, housecleaner, laundromat, minister's wife...the list seems to go on forever!!! I just don't understand how I can be following the Lord's will when I see my family only a quarter of the day. I am really feeling like a failure because of my lack of skill at my many job. It seems like the one I am great at doesn't even involve my family. To say the least, I am struggling! I so badly want to be home to take care of my family and do all those glorious wife-ly things most women complain about. I would love to have the time to clean my house, cook dinner, wash clothes, feed the baby in more than the hour between when I get home and Jared leaves for class.

Sweet Jesus, take us through the fire because we know that it is there that You will refine us in to a more perfect image of You! Stay beside us to remind us of the calling that you have placed on our lives. Your love is sufficient for all amounts of time for family and life. Show us how to live quality not just quantity filled lives. Teach us to say not to the things that are just taking up space and embrace the moments that will bond us together! In the name of the One who is FAITHFUL to hear us cry out...Amen.

Not again!

My nausea has hit me full force! The meds from Dr. Clark make me dizzy and weird...which is not so great when you have a classroom full of kids!

Pray! Pray! Pray!

Say what???

I love the words children use because you know everything they said has probably been heard from home. I hear stories about funny noises from mom and dad's room when they have to go to bed early to what dad says when he's hungry to discipline tools in the kitchen. Kinder kids tell it all. They have no secrets and I get to hear them all! Today, as we are beginning developmental centers, I hear this voice coming from home center...one my kids has all the other kids on the floor correcting their behavior. He has a rolling pin in his hand pointing to each child as he instructs them according of course. I begin to hear each of their consequences from their disobedience to him and the "dad" of the house. One has to go to the "control chair" for 4 minutes, one has to lose 10 minutes of computer time, one has to clean the table and chairs with a baby wipe. The list goes on. I got so tickled because kids are such a poser of their home life.
It made think about how good of a poser am I of Christ. Do I mimic His every action? Do I imitate His words? I don't think I do. This is my mission...I need to go back to being a child and imitate the One!

Parents though....when you tell them what happened at school, they just look at you flabergasted and say, "Well, I have no idea where they heard that word because I never have said that before." I just smile and say, "Well, you know, they probaly heard it on T.V. or something, but...you could help me to teach them to think of more intelligent words to say instead."

Where's Daddy?

The universe has this mean way of making life strange when Jared leaves for a trip. (By the way, he has only been gone one night and my grandparents are here to help too.) Karoline just decides that she is not hungry and want to throw her veggies against the wall. Her sweet spirit wakes up at the three with a cheerful heart ready to play with mom. The rains come and destroy our patio, literally bending the poles. Lily's dog house floods then allows her to track mud throughout my clean house as I open the door. You know the list goes on and on...

We did however have some yummy stew made by Mamaw Niven for dinner. To compliment the stew I was going to create some yummy cornbread. So...I poured the mix, dumped the sugar and cracked the egg. Now, as I ventured to get the milk (just that tiny 1/3 cup), I saw WE HAD NO MILK!!! There goes the cornbread! Anyways, I just threw in some water instead, since I don't know my neighbors well enough to ask for milk, and life went on. Dinner was great! I was a little distraught over veggies on the wall and the lack of milk in my cornbread but what can you do! Life is still good!

My sweet Mamaw unpacked our house in one day. All of our clothes are freshly washed whether they needed it or not and hung in our closets with care. Every inch of our home is spotless and smells like a daisy, even the dog! Thank you Jesus for family!